Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
