I molested 6 butterflies tonight
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
