I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
tequila makes me forget i have legs
oh god was she eating orange peels again
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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