Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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