soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
