If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Randomize