Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
