you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize