stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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