I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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