not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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