I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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