you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize