Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
