Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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