I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Why are your pants in the freezer?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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