Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
