So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
