I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
