so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
