It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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