If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
