Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
