he wants to bone in the snuggie
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
