3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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