It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize