Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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