I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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