Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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