theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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