I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
