We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Blood and glitter go together right?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
