Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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