No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
