he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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