ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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