she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
