My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
