well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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