Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
