have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
