I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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