Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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