just come out here and I will go home with you...
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
