Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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