everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
