So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize