it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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