He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
