That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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