Screwed.edu
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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