actually, I'm a sock model
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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