Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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