thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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