Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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