Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
