I'm really into asian looking animals
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
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