"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize