Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
