How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
