If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize