I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
