What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i just made my gag reflex go away.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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