when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
