Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
