I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
