I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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