I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
