she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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