Christians are straight up FREAKS
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
