Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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