my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I intend to get homeless drunk
this will be a night to untag.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
