we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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