It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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