i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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