do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
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