what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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