getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
