you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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